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Photorealistic image of a female news reporter with a camera crew ducking as geese swarm overhead in a city park.

Henry Good evening. The reign of humanity at the top of the food chain is officially over. Across the globe, local authorities report unprecedented, greatly organized avian activity. Let's go live to currently pinned down near the park. What are you seeing out there? (Cut to Huddo , ducking as geese fly aggressively overhead.) Huddo my connection won't hold much longer-duck! It started with a sparrow blockade on the bridge. By noon, seagulls hijacked the municipal traffic cameras. They aren't migrating; they're mobilizing. A mockingbird just recited my social security number back to me in perfect English! Henry Incredible scenes. Let's bring in our other reporter, author of Our Feathery Overlords. Is there any diplomatic recourse left? Liam Diplomatic? Please. We stopped being a superpower the moment the crows figured out how to operate tactical drones. What we are witnessing is a total restructuring of planetary management. The corvids remember everything. Huddo (Frantically wiping sweat) Liam , a flock of geese just formed a human-resources tribunal around the van. They're demanding to inspect our carbon footprint and they look litigious! Liam Just surrender your keys, No2. Resistance is futile. Start practicing your stretching protocols. Henry Well, there you have it. Coming up next: ten easy ways to appease your new avian landlords, and later in sports-wait, is that a hawk on the teleprompter? Turn the camera off- (A shadow looms over the lens. Screaming is heard as the See more

#news #birds #apocalypse

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