If your wife hasn't agreed relationship agreement, but it needs to be explicitly negotiated rather than assumed. Your wife can say no, and she doesn't to an open marriage, don't approach another woman as a potential sexual partner yet. The first issue isn't finding the right woman; it's having an honest conversation with your wife. Also, wanting the arrangement to allow you to have another woman while your wife can't have another man is possible as a relationship agreement, but it needs to be explicitly negotiated rather than assumed. Your wife can say no, and she doesn't owe you a symmetrical arrangement—or an open marriage at all. And I'd strongly separate sex, an ongoing third-person relationship, and having a baby into different conversations. Bringing pregnancy/surrogacy into an already-unagreed-upon sexual arrangement creates enormous emotional, medical, and legal complications. A healthier sequence would be: Talk to your wife privately first. Tell her what you're imagining without presenting another woman as a fait accompli. Find out whether she's actually interested. Don't pressure her or negotiate while she's feeling threatened. If she's open to it, discuss boundaries: whether it's only sex, whether dating is allowed, whether it's one recurring partner, whether she can veto someone, safer-sex rules, disclosure, and what happens if feelings develop. Only after you both genuinely agree, consider whether there are people who might mutually want that arrangement. Treat Mehr sehen