NUH UH VS. UH HUH: THE ULTIMATE DENIAL MATCH [The arena is a giant kindergarten playground at midnight. Spotlights made of flashlights. The crowd is just confused squirrels and one very invested toddler. A referee in a backwards baseball cap steps up.] Referee: Ladies, gentlemen, and that one kid who still eats glue… welcome to the Thunderdome of Tantrums! In the red corner, weighing in at “you’re not my dad,” the King of Nope, the Sultan of Shut It Down… NUH UH! Nuh Uh (flexing in a tiny denim jacket covered in “NO” stickers): Yo. Referee: And in the blue corner, weighing in at “whatever you say, bestie,” the Yes Man Supreme, the Affirmation Addiction… UH HUH! Uh Huh (wearing shutter shades and a shirt that just says “YEAH”): Heh heh… uh huh. ROUND 1: THE SETUP Nuh Uh: You really think you can beat me? Uh Huh: Uh huh! Nuh Uh: Nuh uh! Uh Huh: Uh huh!! Nuh Uh: NUH UH!!! [Crowd of squirrels goes wild. One faints.] Nuh Uh: You’re just a bootlicker with extra syllables. I once denied gravity and the apple apologized. Uh Huh: Uh huh, and that’s why you’re still falling for it! Nuh Uh: Nuh uh, I’m floating on pure negativity. Uh Huh: Uh huh, floating straight into therapy, king. ROUND 2: PERSONAL ATTACKS Uh Huh: Face it, bro, you’re the reason “no” got canceled. Every time someone tries to have fun, there you are like a human pop-up blocker. Nuh Uh: Nuh uh! I’m protecting the timeline from your toxic positivity. Last week you said yes to pineapple on pizza and socks with sandals. Mehr sehen