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A young boy with a spiky haircut, wearing a white shirt and dark blue pants, looks at his reflection in a mirror in a modern room.

さよなら、恋する私「……よし、これでいい」鏡の中にいるのは、昨日までの私じゃない。耳が出るくらい短く刈り込まれた襟足。ワックスで無造作に散らした前髪。美容院で「男子みたいにしてください！」って叫んだときは、美容師さんも「えっ？」って顔をしてたけど。でも、仕上がりは完璧。中1の私、あゆみは、ずっとソラに恋をしていた。ソラという男子に片想いをしている。しかし彼に自分は叶うわけないだろうといつも考えている。可愛くてキラキラした女子たちの中にいるソラを見て、気づいちゃったんだ。私があの中に混じって彼に振り向いてもらうなんて、一生無理だって。「なら、いっそ……」あゆみは恋を諦めて前から憧れていた？男子のようになるという夢があった。憧れていた「カッコいい男子」そのものになって、この恋を捨ててやる。美容院に行き、男性の美容師に男子並みに髪切ってください！！！という。男性は少し驚いたが、彼女のいうとおりに髪をきり、見事男子のような髪型になることに成功した。制服はお母さんにズボンを買ってもらい、次の日登校する。性格も男子のようにするため、できる限り女子と話すのは控えた（重要な時以外）。低めの声を意識して、視線は真っ直ぐ。「あゆみ！？どうしたのその格好！」驚く友達の声を背中で聞き流して、私は「男子」として振る舞い続けた。トイレでのハプニングと魔法の言葉しかし、すぐに問題が起きる。それは…着替えにくい！ 4時間目が終わった瞬間、最大の壁が立ちはだかる。「よし、体育だ。着替えるぞー」 ……忘れてた。体育の着替え。更衣室は女子で集まり前まではフツーに着替えていたがもう男装？したからはもうできないと感じ、トイレで着替えることにした。今さら女子の更衣室に入って、この格好でブラウスを脱ぐなんて、想像しただけで顔が火を吹くほど恥ずかしい。私はジャージを抱えて、廊下の端にあるトイレに駆け込んだ。個室に入り、鍵をかける。狭い空間で必死に腕を動かし、ズボンを履き替え、シャツを脱ぎ……。「っ……あつい」（あーっ、もう！狭い！腕が壁に当たるし、髪型セットしたばっかりなのに！ああもう、ソラのバカ！なんであんたがあんなにカッコいいから、私がこんな苦労しなきゃいけないのよ！早く着替えないと遅刻する……あ、袖がボタンに引っかかった！取れない、取れないよーっ！！）慣れない早着替えに息を切らしながら、なんとかジャージ姿になった。「ふぅ、これで大丈夫。誰も見てない」自分に言い聞かせて、個室のドアを勢いよく開けた。その瞬間。「うわっ！？」目の前にいた人物と、鼻先がぶつかりそうになる。そこに立っていたのは、あゆみが一番会いたくない、そして世界で一番大好きな相手。……ソラだった。「……あれ。その服、どうしたの？なんで女子の制服じゃなくて、ズボン履いてんの？」（やばいやばいやばい！！答えられない！何も言葉が出てこない！！近すぎるよ！！）心の中は私だけど、口に出す時だけ一人称を「僕」にすればいいんじゃない！？！と思い、震える声を絞り出した。「……別に。こっちの方が、落ち着く気がして。……これからは、僕って呼んで」「え？僕……？」私はそのまま、ソラの横をすり抜け、全速力で逃走した。休日、まさかの遭遇休日、あゆみは男子の私服（パーカー）を買いに行く。（私、絶対に強くなってやるんだから！）黒のパーカーを試着して買って、気に入ったからそのまま着て帰ることにした。（これなら、もう誰も私を女子だなんて思わない。あゆみ、これでいいんだよね） Mehr sehen

#portrait #fashion #everyday life

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